Finding Peace: A Journey Through Grief
This past year has been one of the most difficult for me since my mom passed away almost a decade ago. It wasn’t that I lost someone to death but I lost someone through choosing to speak up about what I desired. Our desires did not match. And in that, the pain of rejection and choosing an ending was much harder than I imagined.
Invisible
One of the most difficult aspects of grief is that it can feel like an invisible weight you carry around. No one sees the immense pain you are in. Grief can feel very isolating and I feel this is partly why. A month or two after a devastating loss, we may “look” fine but on the inside we are unmoored.
A Ritual: Be With
The phrase “be with” is what has gotten me through some of my darkest moments this last year. I was cracked wide open to the grief of losing a relationship but also to all the grief that still lived within my mind and body that had been unattended to. The practice of being with something is to slow down, to honor and to give your presence to. Within this time and space of my life, I now stood on the ground that left no other option than to “be with” my grief, truly and fully, for the first time in my life.
The Gift of Grief
To truly know grief is to truly know love. We live in a culture that pushes away grief. We don’t allow ourselves to fully express and connect with our grief. But what if the gift of grief was a deeper love and connection to yourself?