Acceptance within Grief

A while back I heard this quote saying that to come into acceptance of ourselves and our realities, we must release - release what no longer serves us or whatever we are holding on to that is preventing us from being in this present moment. Then in turn, the way we release is through acceptance, knowing that it is what it is. This brings up a fascinating aspect for me because to have acceptance you must release, but to fully release, we must accept. The weaving together of this process is that you can’t have one without the other. To me, this is much like grief and love.

We feel grief because we have loved so deeply. And when we love so deeply, we risk the loss of that love, whether through choice or death. Within grief, acceptance has been one of the hardest pieces for me to feel fully. You can acclimate to a new reality but to accept it feels far reaching at times. This past week I was met with a realization on why acceptance can feel so difficult when it is around things that are harder to accept, like losing a relationship with a partner or losing a parent. The realization was that if acceptance is the act of releasing, then when we release something, we are met with grief. So when we find a place of acceptance, we are also met with grief.

So, to me it makes perfect sense that acceptance would be difficult to find within grief. It is like we are peeling back another layer of grief and the layer of acceptance can only be met when we are truly ready to process and release that part of our grief. To recalibrate to the new life in front of us after loss, takes such inner strength and courage because it is usually something that we don’t want to accept. But when we process, move, and express our grief we do create space for new things to enter or for another layer of grief to be felt. I feel that when we don’t move the energy, we don’t release, we become weighed down, stuck. Grief is like a full stop. It demands to be felt and the timing at which the different emotions arise will be unique to the person.

This is your reminder that if you are trying to accept something that you are not feeling ready to accept, don’t force it. Come back to how you are feeling NOW and seek the wisdom of your felt experience HERE. You will release and move towards acceptance when you are ready. And I also want to be clear that acceptance doesn’t mean you are okay with what has happened, it means that you are courageous enough to meet a life that looks very different than the one you thought. 

Meet yourself with deep honor and compassion.

Let acceptance flow towards you when you are ready to release. And remember, we release bit by bit. We release what our system can handle at that moment. Be gentle. Give yourself grace. Everything will meet you when you are ready, including acceptance.

And as always, Shar(e)on Lightly