The Process
These past few weeks have been very up and down for me. I have come face-to-face with my crumbling confidence as well as grief over where and how things have landed for me thus far. Not that it’s bad, but sadness is present nonetheless. And within all of this, I had a moment that brought me full circle. I was broken down and in tears when I felt this sense of light take hold deep in my bones - grief is the portal to every major transformation. And I was clearly being asked to let the transformation take place. I will honestly say that I am still within that process and the pain that we can experience within transformations can feel overwhelming at times.
The Connection Between Grief and Gratitude
This time of year, with Thanksgiving right around the corner, there is a lot of talk about gratitude and feeling grateful. Cultivating gratitude within ourselves and our lives is a potent healer in times of loss and grief. However, I want to speak to something that may not be often shared. When we experience a great loss in our lives, there is a time when we cannot feel gratitude without feeling the grief. They feel tied together. Bonded by some unknown force.
Finding Peace: A Journey Through Grief
This past year has been one of the most difficult for me since my mom passed away almost a decade ago. It wasn’t that I lost someone to death but I lost someone through choosing to speak up about what I desired. Our desires did not match. And in that, the pain of rejection and choosing an ending was much harder than I imagined.
Beauty in the Transition
There can be a lot of grief and emotions wrapped up in the letting go and yet you know, you must let go. Much like how the trees let go of the bright and sometimes multicolored leaves, we too have to let go of something or someone that brought a lot of light and colored our world a different shade.
Letting go & Letting in
What a profound statement. What if we explored the concept of grief being something to let in. To be with. Where grief has a welcomed seat at our table. What if we didn’t have to try so hard to let go but rather just invited more of it in. Instead of pushing ourselves to move on, we move forward WITH the loss.
Invisible
One of the most difficult aspects of grief is that it can feel like an invisible weight you carry around. No one sees the immense pain you are in. Grief can feel very isolating and I feel this is partly why. A month or two after a devastating loss, we may “look” fine but on the inside we are unmoored.
A Ritual: Be With
The phrase “be with” is what has gotten me through some of my darkest moments this last year. I was cracked wide open to the grief of losing a relationship but also to all the grief that still lived within my mind and body that had been unattended to. The practice of being with something is to slow down, to honor and to give your presence to. Within this time and space of my life, I now stood on the ground that left no other option than to “be with” my grief, truly and fully, for the first time in my life.
Acceptance within Grief
You will release and move towards acceptance when you are ready. And I also want to be clear that acceptance doesn’t mean you are okay with what has happened, it means that you are courageous enough to meet a life that looks very different than the one you thought.
Take Your Time
If you are moving through grief, I invite you to let go of the timeline. Release the need to be better for your friends and family and bring your attention back to your heart, your center.
The Gift of Grief
To truly know grief is to truly know love. We live in a culture that pushes away grief. We don’t allow ourselves to fully express and connect with our grief. But what if the gift of grief was a deeper love and connection to yourself?
Shar(e)On Lightly: The Meaning
My vision is to create a safe space, a program or course, to help support those moving through grief using the tools of yoga, breathwork, meditation, and nervous system regulation. I believe that when we can share our story, our deepest wounds, and when we feel truly seen and heard, THAT is when healing and integration can begin to take place. From there, we can move through the world a little bit lighter.