The Healing Journey
I used to think that when I asked for healing from my emotional pain, that I was going to “achieve” that by fixing myself and everything that was ultimately wrong with me. I vividly remember one night alone in my apartment in Alaska, weeping on my bed, asking the universe to bring me healing. I thought that by healing, I would feel better. Well, that wasn’t the case.
I actually began to meet my edges more. I was given opportunities to stand in my truth more. To express myself more authentically. And all of it felt very uncomfortable.
The more I deepened my yoga practice and gained knowledge within the somatic realm of healing, I began to realize why I was feeling worse not better. There are still waves that I ride, if I am being completely honest, because healing isn’t a place that we arrive at. The reason is…there is nothing to fix.
Within my story and context, I am speaking of emotional healing. The shift that took place within me was realizing that my emotions weren’t “bad” but rather beautiful information of what I needed to process and let go of. The reason healing feels worse before we feel better is because it is about the release.
Release of old ways of relating to ourselves and others.
Release of literal pain within our bodies because past emotions had nowhere to go so they got stuck.
Release of the habits and protective behaviors that once kept us safe.
Release means we have to meet the pain. No longer push it away. And this can actually mean that we feel more of what we don’t want, because all the past emotions are rising up to be released. This isn’t easy to sit with.
If you are anything like me, you have been holding on to past grievances for a while. At this point, you may not even know what you are holding onto. But the body does.
Our truth lives in the cells of our being, our bodies.
When we begin to release the layers of pain within the body through somatic techniques, we truly begin to transform. We begin to heal.
Healing has taken on a new meaning for me over these last few years. It means integration. It no longer carries the energy of “fixing” something but rather listening to what might be calling my attention. Pain will continue to reach out until we answer the call. Our emotional pain is asking us to embrace that part of us with compassion. Within the embrace we can begin to soften and allow this experience in, even if it is just a tiny small bit.
This creates space within the mind and the body.
This allows and invites in healing.
May you move forward with more grace and compassion for your healing journey.
You have come too far, to not live a life empowered and radiant in all your goodness.
Believe that. Trust in your process.
And as always, Shar(e)on Lightly.